I want to be like HER

A friend passed this week. Tuesday, October 11, around 8 a.m.

She was 69 but didn't look a day older than 50.
She was absolutely beautiful. She resembled Barbara Streisand, but she was prettier.
She was amazingly talented.
She was smart.
She was confident.
She was particular.
She was kind.
She was overwhelming in every good way.
She was, by all accounts, a tremendous mother.

I met her when I was about 15 years old. She was the mother of two of my friends. At that time they were transplants from Louisiana and were just a "tad" different than all of the other boys here in Beaufort. I was instantly interested in knowing more about them. What happened over the course of high school was something I didn't expect. I fell head over heels in love with the entire family. Mom, dad, brothers, dogs and their different way of life.

I felt welcome in their home. I felt special in their home because they were special. They all have an energy that zips around you and bounces off of you and just makes you smile.

Back to "her". She didn't care where you came from, but  instead cared about where you were going and it was clear that she would offer advice if you asked for it...but you'd better be ready for it because it was going to be real no matter what.

As time passed and years separated me from this family, I thought about them many times, kept in touch, invited them to my wedding, stopped by to say hello every chance I could through college, home visiting my parents and eventually with my infant son. My how she ate him up the first time she saw him. She was itching for her own...and she eventually got two of them, by the way, two beautiful toe headed gems who look so much like her.

My adoration of this woman has likely never been announced before now. I did tell her, the last time we spoke (not realizing it would be the last time) a few months ago, that she did an incredible job raising her sons and how amazing I thought they were after all these years. I meant every word.

Any woman who could turn out gentlemen like her sons - honest, true, bright and gifted - well, she should be envied. I always felt a little odd about how much I adored them all and wondered if they had any idea. Guess that doesn't matter.

One of the last things she told me before she became ill  was that she knew I'd end up being the director of my boys - and that she too was always the director. She said that while it was sometimes hard, everyone would appreciate me for it someday. I didn't realize what those words would mean to me until today...until I saw her boys, now full grown men, with fresh tears, tight jaws and aching hearts. How they loved their mother. How they honored her today.

My true prayer is that I will march to the beat of my own drum, just like she did, that I will risk being different to be successful in all the ways that matter, just like she did.

I am grateful for knowing  her. I will miss seeing her. I will miss being slightly intimidated by her.

Thank you, Lord, for people who affect us in these ways and may you protect her and cherish her forever. Please send your angels to guide her husband and her sons through this pain and pick them up when they fall down. They no longer have their mother to tell them what to do or which way to go and they may need a little extra steering now and then. But of course, you know that.

Growing Up Carper

It's October. Rowan is 13 months old, Micah 6 1/2. It's a bittersweet time as Ro really is so much more like a toddler than a baby and Micah has taken some great strides in school and in maturing in general. I, on the other hand, seem to be hanging on to my babies for dear life, unwilling to let them go. Ok....that's a little dramatic, but overall pretty true:)

At Rowan's one year check up he was in 31 inches tall and 23 lbs. 2 oz. A big boy for sure! He wears a 4.5 wide shoe and has conquered all the "normal" milestones one might expect for a one year old, except he conquered them about about 8-9 months! He walks, run, jumps off of furniture (and has several bruises to prove it), eats EVERYTHING, food and otherwise (soap, dog food, mulch, rocks) and has recently discovered what playing outside is and will have play time no other way.

Ok, that sounds bad. We spend tons of time outside but over the past two months, we've started allowing Rowan to play with Micah (with us supervising) outside. He wants nothing to do with baby toys. He goes straight for Micah's bike and four wheeler, points and yells b/c he wants us to push him around on them. It's incredible and super funny to watch. He'll rattle off some serious jibberish when trying to tell us what he wants.

Speaking of, well, talking...Rowan can say duck, mama, da-da, ma-na (Micah), melmo (sometimes and it means ELMO) and can sign the words more, thank you and banana. He also throws his arms up in the air whenever we ask him to say "touch down!".  He is never still. He does not sit quietly anywhere for anyone. He won't let you hold him and walk him around for long until he just throws himself out of your arms to move on to the next thing. He is afraid of NOTHING. He does not cuddle unless extremely tired. He's loving (jumps and rolls on us every minute of the day), very happy and VERY loud. He may be the loudest member in my ENTIRE family and the loudness begins daily at 6 a.m.

Rowan sleeps 7 p .m. - 6 or 7 a.m. and has just transitioned to one nap a day. This came when I moved him to a part time nursery program Sept 1. I transitioned him slowly, leaving him for just an hour at first, then increased each time we went. He seems to really like going and I'm told he rarely cries. He's totally exhausted when I pick him up, as I think he'd still regulary take two naps, but we're doing ok. He goes 3-4 mornings a week.

I still think Rowan has a lot more of my features than Micah has, but overall still looks much like Gabe. People say that both of my boys have my smile. I'm not sure what I see. I'm too busy feeling...man I love these kids!

 Rowan's hair curls at the bottom when he's sweaty...Micah's never did that. I don't think his hair will end up curly like mine, but he definitely has more wave...and I don't want to, ok, refuse to, cut it. Gabe is ready for a trim, but I have threatened his life.

re

 Micah has returned to public school for first grade and is doing very well. He has a great teacher and he seems to really respond to the classroom structure and goal setting his teacher has established. I still have issues with the classroom size and the lack of communication, but I can see how hard his teacher works and how limited her resources are so I have made a point to make myself as available as I can and to help out if she needs me. She is a single mother of two, one of them a first grader, and yet has such control of the class. Micah tells me she is funny and that she should come to our fun parties (cookouts, etc), so I can tell he really does like her and respect her because he tries to please her. He want to succeed.

He's grown up so much and it seems that overnight he began reading everything. He is really reading quite well and even got picked to be one of the narrators in his class's production of "Johnny Appleseed" last week.
He has more trouble with math, but nothing major. The state testing has come and gone for the fall, I think, and having this been our first time with it, I think the process kind of stinks. Micah's doing well, but just the other day his class was forced to take the test in one day, and it was supposed to be done in two parts. The note we received was that the principal "just found out the deadline" for the tests to be submitted...not sure what that means for the kids' scores...if they were rushed, had anxiety, were tired, overworked, etc.  The day he performed in "johnny appleseed" he had a spelling test, the state testing and the performance. Way too much in one day.

I know that I still really like the idea of homeschooling, in some form. I'm not ready and neither is Micah...but it's still on my mind and heart and we'll continuing praying through it. Year by year, month by month, I'll do what is best for him. I know for sure that he will not attend the local middle school here as I have already witnessed several things that are completely inappropriate and shocking. The lack of control scares me. I've witnessed these things because the school is right across the street from Micah's school and when school is let out, all hell breaks loose, or so it seems.

Micah has also become a Cub Scout and Gabe is his den leader. The moment I saw my men in their uniforms my heart exploded. I felt so lucky to have a husband with so much dedication and love in his heart for his kid.

Micah remains a part of AWANA at a local church. There he learns a good dose of scripture while having fun with kids his age. I have decided to do this with him each Sunday night instead of dropping him off and leaving bc it's a way for us to spend quality time together. I caught this picture of Micah explaining his favorite story to a new friend in the club. It was the story of David and Goliath and my heart was SWOLLEN with love as I saw him tell this little boy all about it.

While my boys are 5.5 years apart, there is so much love between them. Micah gets annoyed when Rowan walks over and steals his food or his toys or gets too loud, but he's quick to giggle at him and rarely cares when Rowan barges into his room and starts helping himself to his toy bins and books. I sometimes take that for granted. I should appreciate that more.

Each day is an adventure and I find myself often shocked about another week or another month passing so quickly...and it seems I get an immediate birds eye view and realize that life really is this short...and it really is passing quickly...and they only stay little for a very, very short time. I treasure being a mother. I love my sweeties, with their strong, stubborn wills and their hysterical laughter...now if only I can find a way to slow down that clock...