Here We Are.

Today, or tonight, rather, I am beginning what I hope will be a record of the childhoods of my sons Micah, 6, and Rowan, almost 9 months.

Where to begin? If you're a facebook follower of mine, then you have a pretty good sense of the life I live. It's a balancing act - every hour carefully carved - but one wrong move and off the tight rope we all go. Not always the best way to live, but it's how we're rolling these days.

I'm a believer. My husband is a believer. Micah is a believer...and Rowan...well, he just likes peas and cheese right now. We are Christians of the good old C.S. Lewis school. I actually haven't read all of his books but Mere Christianity is probably the best way to describe us. Love us or hate us or even just be annoyed by us, but Christianity is what shapes our hearts.

What else?

Well, I struggle a lot with my role in this family. I'm a workaholic who wants to conquer the world and yet be the most present involved mother I can be. Can't be both - at least when the work isn't solely motherhood - and daily I have to remind myself. Sometimes life does the reminding and I have nothing to do with it.
It is also daily that I am humbled by my amazing boys and the fact that God gave them to ME - a very undeserving, easily agitated, strong willed and high energy woman. Serves me right that my six year old is an easily agitated, strong willed and high energy little boy:)

Rowan is what many are lately referring to as "advanced." I prefer to say driven. He is nearly walking. I give him a month. He says ma-ma - started saying that right at 7 months and about two weeks ago started saying da-da. He squats sumo-style and then stands - squats and then stands - like he's exercising. He's building his strength for those long runs that I am working with Micah on right now. Micah is currently being evaluated for ADHD...and so regardless of whether he has it, a key to managing it is exercise. Let me tell you - it's not easy to wear out an easily agitated, strong willed and high energy six year old:)

We live in a modest home that each year grows on us - and with us - a little more. We are constantly in home repair or improvement mode and I think that has shaped Micah's love for power tools and gadgets of all kinds.

We drive a car that I sometimes wish we didn't, but then I am reminded that keeping up with the Jones' is much like tying a cement block to my ankles, jumping in the river and hoping for the best. We make wise choices - even when they aren't the most aesthetically pleasing - to ensure our children have what they need (and - ok, ok what they sometimes just want).  I also come from a family of debt free-ers, so that shapes my outlook on what I am and am not willing to spend money on. This is one trait of mine that I DO hope my kids pick up on:)

What else should I say in my very first blog about motherhood?

• I do not sew and I am proud of it.

• I break a sweat at the idea of arts and crafts or even the smell of glue.

• I am 32 and feel 18.

• I'm a serious purger. I get rid of things regularly - they have a 6 month mark. If I don't use it over 6 months, I likely don't need it. My yogi friend inspired me to keep this up. It's very therapeutic.

• I do not prepare the week's meals on Sunday afternoon (seriously, I know ppl who do that) b/c I am usually bike riding or at the beach or something ELSE with my sons. This means I am usually cooking with baby on the hip (actually he hangs from my limbs in whatever fashion he chooses) while my oldest is using the cooking utensil I need as a "scooper" outside in his new construction site (read: the brick walkway he managed to DESTROY and label "construction zone"). This also means that you should not expect recipes from me unless I happen to be REALLY onto (or on) something one day:)

• I lose perspective more often that I'd like to admit and peer at my children over my laptop more often than I should. More to this later as it's a serious heartache and soul searching thing for me.

• I am devoted to these little beings and there is absolutely nothing that absorbs my brain power more.

• I whole heartedly believe that children are gifts and it's our job to figure out how to unwrap them appropriately.

I think that's it.

Check back in soon for the low down the day's or week's crazy:)